An Insane Story for the Only Sane Man
by DatCrownedProblemSolver
Summary: Weird events begin happening in the town of Farboro, but sometimes even the craziest of problems are solved by sane people. But is Horace one of the sane men capable of solving this surreal problem? Rated T for mild mentions of blood, some things that may be too intense for young children, and lots of violence in the ending chapters.
1. Fleas

"...Alfe..." said Horace. "We need to talk."

"Talk about what?" asked Alfe.

"You completely messed up the house!" yelled Horace.

"Sure, sure," said Alfe. "But look on the bright side! It's so messed up you shouldn't even bother cleaning it!"

The Problem Solverz headquarters was in a state of major disarray. Books were off the shelf. The couch somehow tumbled over. The Problem Solverz' match collection was scattered everywhere. The headquarters looked as of a burglar had come, but then again that would have been impossible. Alfe doesn't like it when burglars touch his food.

"What on Earth happened?!" asked Horace.

Roba went into the room. "Well...Alfe had fleas," said Roba.

"Again?" asked Horace.

"Yeah..." said Roba. Whenever Alfe had fleas, he usually couldn't tolerate them well, so due to how angry he could get with the sudden itching, he had fits of rage which could pose a danger to nearby furniture.

"Luckily, I got his flea medicine on him before it could get worse," said Roba.

"...If that's the case, then I'm sorry for yelling at you, Alfe," said Horace. "I know you can't help it."

"It's no big deal," said Alfe.

"But what gave you fleas in the first place?" asked Horace.

"They just want to live on my awesome body," said Alfe.

"I doubt that that's the exact cause," said Roba.

"Hm...Well, it looks like we have two problems on our hands," said Horace.

"Two problems?" asked Roba.

"Yeah," said Horace. "Cleaning up the headquarters, and finding out how the fleas got in."

"Oh, yeah, guys, if you add the problem of me breaking the toilet again, that makes three problems," said Alfe. Roba facepalmed himself.

-PROBLEM SOLVERZ CASE 109586049: FIXING THE TOILET AFTER ALFE BROKE IT-

"Alfe! What did you eat?!" yelled Horace.

-PROBLEM SOLVERZ CASE 109586050: CLEANING THE HEADQUARTERS BECAUSE ALFE WENT FLEA CRAZY-

The headquarters were slowly getting more and more tidy. Roba decided that as long as they were cleaning up, he'd dust the shelves. Roba grabbed a navy blue stool and was about to start dusting, but he found something on the shelf.

He found a kitten. A black and white kitten. Roba, due to the fact that he had fur allergies, sneezed when he got near the kitten. Roba got down the stool and went to Horace.

"Horace! I think I found what's causing Alfe's fleas!" said Roba.

"Really?" asked Horace. "What is it?"

"It's a cat!" said Roba. "I found it on the shelf!" Roba and Horace went over to the shelf. Horace got on the stool, but he didn't see the kitten.

"There was a cat up there!" said Roba. Roba then looked over at the open window on the wall.

"Well...I guess the cat got down, got on the table and went out the window," said Horace. "I guess that was what caused Alfe's fleas. That's one problem solved."

Roba got his "Problem Solved" stamp and stamped the table. "Problem solved."

Horace looked at the stamp. "You're gonna have to clean that up," said Horace.

"I know," said Roba. Roba got a type of cleaning fluid and a rag and got the stamp off the table.

The Problem Solverz just thought that it was a normal stray kitten that got inside, but they didn't know that things were about to get much more surreal.

_Author's note time: Hello. Thank you for reading the first chapter of this story. To those of you who have read my previous Problem Solverz stories, the events in this story are not relating to my other stories. Farewell for now. _

_DISCLAIMERS: I do not own The Problem Solverz, or any of it's relating characters. They belong to Ben Jones and the awesome group that made them and Cartoon Network. _


	2. Farboro

After having cleaned up the headquarters, The Problem Solverz got a call from one of the local women of Farboro about a problem.

"Hello, this is the Problem Solverz," said Roba, who answered the phone. "What's the problem?"

"Problem Solverz! I need your help! There are cats here that won't get out of my house!" yelled the woman.

"...Cats?" asked Roba.

"Yes! I need your help right away!" said the woman. Roba questioned her problem, but a problem's a problem. He had to solve it.

"We'll be right there," said Roba.

"Oh, thank you!" said the woman. Roba hung up and went to tell Horace and Alfe about the problem.

"Horace, Alfe. We got a call about some woman with a problem about cats," said Roba.

"Well, looks like we're gonna see a lot of cats today," said Horace. "Roba, how about you stay here since you have allergies?"

"Alright," said Roba. Roba went to sit down on the couch. "Have fun."

"Like anyone could have fun with cats," said Alfe. Horace and Alfe then went out the door.

As Horace and Alfe were walking to the woman's home, Horace striked up a conversation.

"There sure is a lot of stuff going on about cats today," said Horace. "I hope nothing weird's going on."

"Horace, it's Farboro," said Alfe.

"Well, true, but still," said Horace.

Horace and Alfe got to the woman's home, and Horace knocked on her door.

"Problem Solverz!" yelled the woman, who immediatly hugged Horace and Alfe very, very tightly. "I cannot take these cats anymore!" The woman had Brown hair tied into a bun and wore a typical Navy Blue woman's business suit. It was no wonder that she couldn't handle the cats; they probably interrupted her business!

"U-uh, we can only solve your problem if you let go of us," said Horace.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said the woman. "Come in, please."

The woman showed Alfe and Horace to a room where the cats were most-often seen. The woman opened the door, and cats were everywhere.

The woman walked to a huge hole in the wall, where the cats were coming from.

"I just don't understand why there's so many!" said the woman.

"Cats will never be fully understood," said Alfe. "And the way to solve this problem is simple: scare the cats away!"

"Alfe, what I had thought we would do was-" Horace was interrupted by Alfe, screaming his own name and scaring the cats away.

"What were you saying, Horace?" asked Alfe.

"...What I was going to say was maybe we could take them to the local animal shelter," said Horace.

"They can find the shelter on their own," said Alfe.

"Well...I hope they do," said the woman. "Thank you, Problem Solver-" The woman was interrupted by a sudden thudding sound on the roof.

"What was that?" asked Horace.

Horace soon got his answer. The roof of the woman's home collapsed. And do you know why?

Because it was raining kittens.


	3. Family

"Oh my dog!" yelled the woman.

"Ma'am, are you okay?!" asked Horace.

"Urgh...I'm stuck under rubble," said the woman. Alfe and Horace went to pull her out.

"Thank you," said the woman. She looked at the kittens, and she looked at her destroyed home. She started crying. "It's because of these damn cats!" yelled the woman.

"Woah, woah, calm down," said Horace. "We can pay for a stay at a hotel."

"Would you really?" asked the woman.

"Sure," said Horace. "Just until you can find a new home."

"Oh, thank you!" said the woman. As a result of The Problem Solverz' kindness, she gave them three-hundred dollars for making a solution to her problem. Horace gave her some money for hotel payment, and Alfe and Horace left.

"Horace, why do we have to pay for her hotel rent?!" asked Alfe.

"Because right now it's the only way to solve her problem," said Horace.

"Anything for solving problems," said Alfe.

"I'm surprised that after years of doing this that it hasn't rubbed off on you a bit," said Horace.

"I put on Problem-Solving repellant every day," said Alfe. They continued to walk back to the Problem Solverz headquarters in silence.

They walked back home to something awful.

The Problem Solverz Headquarters was destroyed.

"Oh, come on!" yelled Alfe. "Why does all the bad stuff happen to us?!"

Horace's jaw dropped, and he ran to the destroyed headquarters. His only priority was finding Roba.

"Roba! Where are you?!" yelled Horace. Horace found a small note on the floor.

"Meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!" That is what the note said. There was another note on the floor. Horace picked it up. The other note had translation for the first note. The note, when translated, said this:

"Problem Solverz! Nya nya nya! I have your little half-cyborg freakshow. And the only way you can get him back is by coming to my lair and bowing down to me as Farboro's new mayor! Imagine that! The second feline mayor!

Sincerely, Badcat."

"Badcat!" yelled Horace. Horace ran and showed the note to Alfe.

"At least he didn't confuse Roba for a girl," said Alfe.

"Of course he wouldn't!" yelled Horace. "He's met him three times now! We have to save Roba!"

"Horace, Horace, Horace," said Alfe. "Always about the family. Well, it's not about the family, it's about the pizza. If Pizza Face isn't destroyed, let's go get a pizza!"

Horace handed Alfe a few dollars. "If you want pizza, you can get it yourself, but I have to save Roba!" yelled Horace, who then ran away from the destroyed headquarters.

Alfe shrugged. "It's not always about family," said Alfe.


	4. Instructor

Horace ran and ran through Farboro, trying to find some evidence of his brother or Badcat. Horace was obviously very worried about Roba. Horace found a cat, and quietly followed it. Horace tripped and fell while walking, startling the cat, causing it to run away.

"Dog damn it!" yelled Horace, running after the startled cat.

"Ha! Look at him, running after a startled cat!" said Badcat, sitting in his floating chair atop an intact building. "I've already stolen his brother, so why not be even more unfair and steal something else very important to him?' Badcat floated into the sky, heading for the destroyed Problem Solverz headquarters.

Alfe was looking at the money Horace had given him. He wondered weither or not to go all the way to the town of Farboro and get a pizza. His stomach growled.

"I guess I'll go get a pizza," said Alfe. "But it's so cold tonight..." Alfe then went looking for his hoodie. He found it slightly dirty by debris. "Perfect!" said Alfe, who immediatly put it on. His hoodie was Gray. Nothing too fancy.

Alfe went into the town. The town was a mess. Cats were everywhere, absolutely everywhere.

"Oh my dog," said Alfe. "Wait, no. Technally this would be "oh my cat."" Alfe smiled slightly at his little pun. Suddenly, the area around him got slightly darker. Alfe looked up, and noticed that this was because of Badcat's floating chair getting closer and closer to Alfe.

"Nya!" yelled Badcat.

Alfe fought with fists and kicks, kicking Badcat in the face.

"NYA!" yelled Badcat. Alfe tried to take advantage of Badcat's pain by running away. However, Badcat's kitten and cat army scratched at Alfe repeatedly, eventually making Alfe pass out. The cats gathered together and put Alfe on their backs...Which took literally all of the cat army due to Alfe's weight and size. Badcat floated towards his hideout, and the cat army followed him, Alfe in tow.

Horace, still looking for evidence, looked all over the place, but there didn't seem to be any clue to it. Horace sat down for a bit, just to catch his breath.

"What...Could he be doing to Roba?" asked Horace.

"Would you like to find out?" asked someone in the distance.

It was Tux Dog.

"Tux Dog...Do you know what's going on?" asked Horace.

"Hardly. Remember, Horace, dogs know very little about cats," said Tux Dog. "But there's no reason for a dog to find out, is there not?" Horace only stared at Tux Dog in the distance.

"Come with me," said Tux Dog. "I'll let you ride with me in my helicopter, if you promise not to get it dirty."

"I know," said Horace, walking with Tux Dog.

"Horace, all I really know about this is that Badcat is involved," said Tux Dog.

"He kidnapped Roba," said Horace.

"...Cats like bright, colorful things," said Tux Dog.

"Well, Roba is not a bright, colorful thing. He's my brother," said Horace.

"I never once saw the resemblance. But that is not important. What's important is stopping whatever Badcat plans to do," said Tux Dog.

"And getting Roba back," said Horace.

"If you say so," said Tux Dog, starting up the helicopter. As the helicopter flew through the sky, Horace looked out the window, looking at the clear, starry sky.

"I hope Roba's okay," Horace thought.

It was almost peaceful in the helicopter.

And then it started raining kittens again.

The kittens caused thudding on the helicopter, swiftly avoiding the swirling helicopter blades and landing on other parts of the helicopter. Cats always landed on their feet.

"Horace, we're crashing down!" yelled Tux Dog.

"What do we do?!" yelled Horace.

Tux Dog threw an emergency parachute to Horace. "What about you?!" yelled Horace.

"That is my only parachute I have!" yelled Tux Dog. "I want you to solve your problem!"

"Tux Dog, I can't just leave you here! This helicopter's about to crash!" yelled Horace.

"It doesn't matter! Go, quickly! I will be okay!" yelled Tux Dog. Horace thought about what to do. If he didn't take the parachute and go out of the crashing helicopter, he would most likely die. He wanted to be there for Roba for as long as he could. Horace was always a bit of a guardian to Roba. He'd protect Roba on their walks to school and everything. But what about Tux Dog? Tux Dog was important to Horace, too. He helped Horace become a Problem Solver. Horace made up his mind, and decided to use the parachute.

"...Instructor," said Horace.

"...Don't call me that. Not now," said Tux Dog.

"...Thanks," said Horace, jumping out of the helicopter, falling softly to the ground. And you know what happened?

Only a few feet away from the ground, one of the cats fell on Horace's parachute, causing it to fail and let Horace fall. Luckily, it was only a minor fall.

Horace, on the ground, tried to avoid watching the helicopter crash with his instructor, Tux Dog, dying with it.


	5. Costume

Horace ran towards the forest, and sat down just to think, if only for no more than a few seconds.

"Roba..." said Horace, looking at the ground. Horace looked up, and saw a costume store in the middle of nowhere.

"Well, that's convenient," said Horace. He walked up to the costume store and went inside.

"Welcome, welcome!" said a man. The man wore a Blue bowtie and a Teal shirt. "How may I help you today?"

"...Do you have any cat costumes?" asked Horace.

"Certainly!" yelled the man. The man brought in a black cat suit. "Now, it's a one-size fits most type of suit. If it doesn't fit you you may have a full refund. It costs fifteen dollars."

"I'll take it," said Horace, handing out the required amount of money needed. "Thanks!" Horace ran out the costume store, went into the forest again, and put on the suit over his clothes. Horace didn't have time to worry about how weird it was to be a cat. He had to save Roba.

Badcat floated into his hideout with his cats and kittens and Alfe.

"Oh, Roooba," said Badcat. "We brought you company!"

Badcat's army somehow was able to tie Roba to the ceiling and use him as a cat toy. They did the same thing with Alfe. Roba, due to being scratched so much, lost so much blood he turned pale and weak.

"S-stop it..." said Roba.

"Nya, let me think...NO! Nyahahahahahaha!" laughed Badcat.

As the cats were tying Alfe up, Roba tried to rock left and right to stop them, but he was too weak. Badcat enjoyed watching them suffer.

Horace, sneaking everywhere he went, saw cat prints on the ground. He followed them, and they led to Badcat's hideout. Badcat's hideout was very bright. There was a Neon Pink sign of Badcat's face, and there were several lights on, going around the building like it was a rave. The building itself was painted with a checkerboard style of Gold and another darker shade of said color. Horace looked at the building, knowing that only Badcat would have something this tacky.

Horace sneaked his way inside the building, and hid himself behind pieces of furniture. He crawled until he found the room Badcat and his minions were in. Horace hid behind the doorway, listening to what Badcat had to say.

"Now, minions, these toys are mine! Go play with your own toys!" yelled Badcat.

The cats repeatedly meowed in response, angrily.

"Hush up, kitties!" yelled Badcat.

The cats ran out of the room, luckily not noticing Horace.

"Now, toys, I'm going to play with you," said Badcat.

Horace ran into the room. "Oh, no you won't!" yelled Horace.

"Oh, yes, I will," said Badcat, turning his head in the direction of Horace. "But I suppose first I'll play with you first!" Badcat pushed a button on his chair, and suddenly, a ton of missile-shooters came out. Badcat pushed a button and one of the missiles fired, heading straight for Horace. Horace jumped out of the way. Badcat floated up behind Horace, and started clawing his face. The claws on the paws of Horace's costume were, for whatever reason, real. Horace found this out when he dug the claws into Badcat's arm.

"Nya! Aren't you being a bad kitty!" yelled Badcat.


	6. Favorite

"No, you're the one being the bad cat!" yelled Horace, not noticing that he probably just made a very bad pun. Horace ran towards Badcat and tried doing one of those ninja-style kicks, successfully. When Horace landed on the ground, Badcat scratched him, and fired his missile again, sending Horace flying towards the wall. Horace flew back-first into the wall and got up. Badcat's cat army swarmed around Horace, climbing up on his legs and scratching him. Horace, not one to hurt animals (Badcat being the only exception), decided to jump up on a table and grab onto a bookshelf. He started throwing books at Badcat, who dodged all of Horace's projectiles.

"Badcat! If you give me back Roba and Alfe, I'll stop this fight!" yelled Horace.

"No! They're MINE now!" yelled Badcat.

"Alright then, you've asked for it!" yelled Horace, jumping off the shelf. He ran towards Badcat again, and scratched him repeatedly. Badcat's face was covered in blood, as was Horace's, but who knows who would win the battle?

Badcat then pushed a button on his chair, replacing the missile-shooters with a Gatling gun. The Gatling gun fired repeatedly at Horace, who luckily was able to dodge the bullets. Badcat hissed, and fired again. Horace ran away again, but unfortunately one of the bullets hit Horace in his leg. Horace was unable to escape. Badcat, in his floating chair, floated up to Horace. He grabbed Horace by the neck of his costume.

"Heh, look at you, hanging from my paw, leg bleeding and all. Once I become the rightful mayor of Farboro, not even you can stop me," said Badcat.

"...Cats...suck..." said Horace, weakly. Badcat only smiled at Horace's little comment. It was like Horace had told him a joke.

Suddenly, something crashed through the walls.

It was a Black tank. But it had a little Red bowtie on it, and it's door was shaped like a top hat. Horace knew who's tank it was immediately.

Badcat grinned eeriely at the sight of the tank. "Hello," said Badcat. The tank fired, destroying another one of Badcat's walls.

"Retreat!" yelled Badcat. Badcat and his cat army ran away from his damaged hideout. Before Badcat went out of the hideout, he dropped Horace to the ground, who passed out. The tank opened it's door, and out came Tux Dog, bandages covering various parts of his body. He grabbed Horace, and also grabbed Roba and Alfe, who were passed out. He took them into his tank and the tank drove into the town of Farboro. The town's hospital was slightly damaged, but was still helping people who were hurt. Tux Dog admitted The Problem Solverz into the hospital and left, donating some of his money to help the town recover.

Two months later, Horace woke up.

"Well, you're finally up," said Tux Dog, sitting down on a chair.

"Tux Dog...What happened? Where's Roba and Alfe?" asked Horace.

"They are both fine now. Roba had lost a significant amount of blood, but he's recovered nicely. Alfe only had minor injuries, but still required hospitalization. He's doing well now," said Tux Dog. "As for you...Your injuries have mostly healed well, so you should be able to go home sometime this week, but you'll still have to take it easy because of that leg for a few more weeks."

Horace looked out the window. "It looks different from when it was when I last saw it."

"Oh, yes. Farboro's been doing well too," said Tux Dog.

"But...What about Badcat?" asked Horace.

"He's gone to jail...Again," said Tux Dog. "His cat army has gone to animal shelters."

"Good...Instructor?" asked Horace.

Tux Dog stayed silent for a moment, but then answered. "Yes?"

"I'm...I'm glad you survived," said Horace.

Tux Dog remained silent for a moment, again. Then someone opened the door.

It was Roba and Alfe.

"Oh, you're up!" said Roba, going over to hug his brother.

"Roba, Alfe, are you okay?" asked Horace.

"Yeah, we're okay. You should have seen how pale Roba was at first, though," said Alfe.

"I was passed out," said Horace.

"Still, you should have seen it," replied Alfe.

Two days after that, Horace went home from the hospital. It felt nice to walk through the mostly-reconstructed town...Or roll through it, in Horace's case, as he had to use a wheelchair since he still couldn't walk again yet.

As Tux Dog walked back to his home, he couldn't help but smile at the thought of Horace, solving a problem this challenging mostly by himself. He would never tell anyone else this, but Horace was always Tux Dog's favorite out of the Problem Solverz trio.

Author's note time: Well...This is probably my favorite story, out of the three I've currently made. It has most certainly been easier to write a story here since I've written my first story that shall not be named (it was BAAAD). But anyways, I'd like to thank the user MadLane for favoriting and reviewing this story. He/she has a Problem Solverz story relating to Katrina Rad, if you're interested. I'd also like to apologize for not giving a description for Badcat's appearance. It's because I don't remember much about him. All I remember was that he was a big, possibly obese Light Gray cat with these weird rainbow-colored markings on his face. If anyone could give me anymore intel about him, that'd be purrfect.

DISCLAIMERS: I've said it once and I'll say it again. I do not own The Problem Solverz or any of it's characters. They belong to Ben Jones and Cartoon Network.


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